"What more could have been done for my vineyard than what I have done for it?"

Unmerited

2007-11-19T15:15:00.000-05:00

Recently, I have been reading a book, Why I am not an Arminian. It has challenged me, as well as helping to reaffirm my views about salvation. I have also been talking with a couple of my friends here at school about the topic, which has also again peaked my interest in the topic. Here's what I have found:

1) "The Arminian wants to have it both ways. He wants to say that faith has no merit, but he also wants to say that our faith somehow motivates God to save us, that God chooses us on the basis of our choosing him. But if faith motivates God to save us, then it must have some merit in his eyes (113-114). This quote describes the predicament that all those who believe that our choice determines salvation must face. While you may disagree with the wording, one cannot disagree with the concept. If one believes that salvation is freely offered to all and it is our responsibility to accept that gift, then our acceptance of the gift has merited our salvation in some way, shape, or form. Your choice has saved you, whereas it has eternally damned another.

2) Nowhere in Scripture does it explicitly state that our decision is the beginning of our salvation. Let me explain a bit. There are Scripture references to the fact that we are "dead in our transgressions" (Eph. 2:1). Being dead, you cannot make a decision for yourself. Someone else has to make that decision for you. This decision is made by God for you; He has brought you back to life through Christ.

3) I, myself, would never have chosen Christ unless God had worked inside of me. It takes me no time at all to be reminded of this. I think back to my former way of life, in which I was "happy," getting ready to go to law school and make a lot of money. There is no reason for me to choose Christ and His death. As stated previously, I was "dead in my transgressions;" I was a "slave to sin" (Rom. 6:17). It is thanks and praise to God that He has rescued me from being a slave to sin and turned me into a "slave to righteousness" (Rom. 6:18).

4) It is not my right to question what God does. Ultimately, it is not my right to say to God, "Why did you choose me and not my brother?" (see Rom. 9:19-24). I do not have the answers to these questions, but my responsibility, my only responsibility and right, is to bow down at the throne of God and cry "Holy, holy, holy are you LORD God Almighty."

All glory and honor and power belong to our Lord and God (Rev. 4:11a).

Created

2007-09-21T10:38:00.001-04:00

So, I hadn't planned on writing about this topic; however, when I went to yahoo.com, I read an article. There is a German politician, Gabriele Pauli, who wants all marriages to be dissolved after seven years. She has one major reason for advocating such a position: she claims that many people remain in marriages just because they feel "safe."

It is becoming absurd that we are wanting to dissolve marriages after seven years. We need to get back in touch with who we were created to be.

The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He has taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, :This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man." For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. -- Genesis 2:22-24

Here we read about who man and woman were created to be and what marriage is really supposed to look like. How can we possibly advocate the dissolution of marriage after seven years if, when we marry, we become on flesh with our spouse?

Let's think about this for a second. So right now I kind of want to see. I think that vision is pretty cool, as do most people I think. Don't get me wrong, there are things that I most certainly would not want to see, but all-in-all, I really like being able to see.

I can almost guarantee that seven years from now I am still really going to like to see. I think that my passion for seeing won't die. Now, this is my own flesh, I like it, I like to see it flourish, I like to have it. This is what marriage is supposed to be like. We are to value our spouse in the same way that we value our eyes and our vision.

If we are able to recapture this belief of marriage, we won't have people like Pauli advocating its dissolution. We need to recognize it as an awesome covenant that is given to us by God.

We were created to be in these relationships. We are created imago Dei (see Gen. 1:26-28), who is in perfect relationships within the Trinity. We are created with that same need and desire for relationships. We are created to be relational beings.

Life

2007-09-10T11:51:00.000-04:00

Again, the Old Testament class I am taking has challenged me. This time in a quite intriguing manner. Our professor was talking about the academic study of Scripture (Ryan recently commented on my earlier post about this as well). At one point he said this:

"I hope that in our academic study that you are strengthened either in your faith in God or even in a more vital faith."

For me, this was a bit of a shock. A more vital faith? There is no more vital faith than the faith that we have in Christ.

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." -- The gospel of Jesus Christ according to John 14:6

Note that Christ does not say "I am A way, or A truth, or A life," but rather He says, "I am THE way, THE truth, THE life." Why is this such an important distinction? There are several reasons.

First, there is nothing, or no one else, by which we are saved other than our faith in Christ. He is our source of life. How can we have a faith that is more vital than our faith in Him if He is our source of life? It just cannot exist. Our life, our livelihood, our being is found in Him. As such, all of our actions and our faith should be rooted deeply in Him.

Second, He is "the way." There is no other way to eternal life and salvation. We cannot find rest in anything other than God and His mercy. There is nothing more vital than our eternal life. There is nothing more important that the salvation found in Christ.

What are the dangers of not believing this? What awaits those who do not have faith, or do not see the importance and urgency of trusting in Christ?

Then the kings of the earth, the princes, the generals, the rich, the mighty, and every slave and every free man hid in caves among the rocks of the mountains. They called to the mountains and the rocks, "Fall on us and hide us from the face of him who sits on the throne and from the wrath of the Lamb! For the great day of their wrath has come, and who can stand?" -- Revelation 6:15-17

Crying for the rocks to fall on them so they do not have to face the "wrath of the Lamb." I do not know what is more vital than to have a faith in Christ so that we do not have to fear death any longer, that we do not have to fear His wrath on Judgment Day.

Change

2007-09-06T11:06:00.000-04:00

We started classes here at W & J on Monday (yes, Labor Day). My first class of the year was also my first religion class that I have taken here. It is Religion 201 -- The Old Testament. It should be an intriguing class.

The professor is "somewhat" liberal when talking about Scripture. It has been a challenge to hear him speak on some issues, which I will delve into here a little bit later. I have been warned previously about this professor, most notably by Ryan. I am still trying to go into the class as open as I possibly can though, and I am extremely excited to be able to take a closer look at the Old Testament, where I am not nearly as strong.

One of the reasons that this class should be a challenge is because the professor has brought up several good points already this week.

The first point that he brought up is this: "If you are to believe something as truth, yet it does not change who you are, then is it truth at all?"

I think that there is a lot to be said about this, especially on our campus. There are many students who would say they are Christian, who might even proclaim Jesus as the Christ, yet are not changed by this fact. Do they really even beleive what they are saying then? It is impossible to believe in these Truths and not have them radically change your life.

Let's just take a look at what Jesus said about some of this:

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?" -- The Gospel of Jesus Christ according to Matthew 16:24-26

We are called to change by Christ himself. If we want to find our life, we must lose it for His sake. This is a radical change. We cannot go on living in our current lifestyles -- we cannot continue to live in our sexual immorality, our greed, our filthy language, our selfishness. We must learn to allow the love of Christ to reign in our hearts. We need to become compassionate towards our neighbors.

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' -- The Gospel of Jesus Christ according to Matthew 25:40

Again, this shows the radical change of caring for our brothers more than ourselves. We again are commanded to do this:

"'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul adn with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." -- Christ speaking, The Gospel of Jesus Christ according to Matthew 22:37-40.

We are all called to this change; we are all held responsible for this change. In order to live as Christ lived, then we must begin to allow these Truths to change us.

Why haven't you changed? Where is it that you need to change? Where is it that you need to "lose your life to Christ, that you may find it?"

Giving Away My Life?

2007-08-15T12:19:00.000-04:00

Today, I have been faced with some difficult decisions. Let me expound:

Early in July, before I had known about when RA training would be, I committed to a golf marathon that the CCO, the Coalition for Christian Outreach, an organization that I hope to work for one day, was having on 27 August. I am excited about the opportunity that I have to help the CCO raise funds for their upcoming fiscal year.

These plans were soon dashed (or maybe not), due to RA training, which begins on 23 August. I have asked to be excused for this one day, but my request has been denied. Also, I will have to miss whatever is going on 1 September, as I celebrate my grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary (I am so excited for them).

This being said, it has begun a difficult and prayerful decision for me -- to retain my position as an RA or to resign from it. Let me weigh the pros and cons of each decision.

If I were to remain an RA, I would continue to have my room paid for, about a $5000 expense. This is quite a nice compensation, to be sure. Also, I would receive a $100 stipend at the end of each semester, which does prove to come in handy at those times. However, there is a huge time commitment which comes with the job, as you are on call at all times of the day. It is a straining job, requiring you to be intimately involved with your residents (or at least that is the way that I perceive the job). It also confines you to the campus on certain nights, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but is a hindrance nonetheless.

If I were to resign from my position, it would allow me greater freedom than I have had the past two years. First, I would be able to go to the golf marathon, as well as the celebration for my grandparent's, without feeling guilty or as if I had let someone down. Secondly, I would be able to devote a greater amount of time to the community and friendships that are developing on campus. This summer, I discovered the importance of community living, something that I would like to bring to the campus this year. This summer, I also was able to develop many friendships that I hope to last beyond just this summer. By not being an RA, I would have more freedom to seek out those from this summer and be intentional about keeping in contact with them.

There are negatives to this as well. I am afraid that I would possibly ruin the friendship that I have with my current CA. I would hope that wouldn't be the case, as my decision does not reflect any animosity towards him, but rather disappointment with the current situation. Also, I would then have to pay for my room, which I don't necessarily consider too much of an obstacle. As Tim and I were discussing this morning, money should be a non-issue (or at least one of little concern). I have the same view, that while money has some redeeming qualities to it, the worship and idolatry of it is a bad practice. It, therefore, should have little weight in making a decision like this.

Oh, what to do?

Weary and Burdened

2007-08-08T02:43:00.000-04:00

Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest (Matt. 11:28)

These verses have rung true to me tonight as we have had our prayer vigil. Since talking with Katie the other night (I believe it was Sunday night), my soul has been weary and burdened. She brought to light some things that I had not thought about in the last eight weeks, and I sincerely thank her for that.

My soul still is restless, as am I. I am so confused and lost right now that it is somewhat absurd. I don't really know what to think or do (I am sorry that I feel it necessary to not shed too much light on the topic about which I am writing. Katie, I think that you know the topic and may be able to talk with me sometime before we leave about it). I got to pray silently about it some tonight, but I feel that I have prayed in vain and didn't have the right mindset going into my prayers.

Again and again, I read that if we ask, we shall receive. Perhaps I am not asking with a willing heart or a correct attitude.

Perhaps, I am not willing to believe that God will actually provide. Maybe I am lacking faith in Him to live true to His word, which is a bit ridiculous when looking at the Scriptures.

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him (Ps. 62:1).

Does my soul find rest in him? Do I allow my soul to find rest in him? Do I prevent myself from finding rest in him?

These are all legitimate questions since I find myself so weary and burdened over the last few days. I will continue to pray for rest, as well as clarification about this issue. I just need to begin to have the hope and the trust that God will be faithful to me, as he has been so many times in the past.

Left Unspoken (Part III)

2007-08-08T02:21:00.000-04:00

Tonight, I plan on writing another blog that will be more personal than this is, but this is also an important blog for me to write:

To Jess: The growth you have experienced this summer is evident. It was encouraging to see someone who was so adamant about taking his/her sabbath every week. You grew in your ideas and thoughts of what it means to live in Christian community, and I hope that you are able to take that back with you to Malone.

To Kenneth: I am a bit disappointed that I didn't get to know you better this summer. You seem like you are an awesome guy. Your knowledge and wisdom is rich, and I pray that you continue to seek ways in which you can glorify God through your gifts.

To Beth: Your perseverance through so many difficulties this summer has been a blessing. You continued through your walk where so many people may have given up. Your image has been shaped through this perseverance and will continue to be so into the future.

To Kurt: Continue to seek bravery. There has already been a desire in you this summer to do so, which you took huge steps in by leading a Bible study. I hope that you realize that you are loved by God just as much as anyone else in the house. Know that God gave you a spirit of love and self-discipline and of power.

To Heather: Your summer has been awesome to watch. The growth that you have seen in your organization is uplifting and is promising when looking to the future. All the while, you have acted in purity, seeking only to glorify God through all that has taken place. I will continue to pray that this would be the case into the future.

To Jeff: You have been a huge inspiration for me this summer. You have challenged me to look at my gifts with humility, shown me what a married man looks like seeking the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, taught me what it means to lead your children in view of God's mercy, the list goes on and on. I thank you for the great sacrifice that you have made in coming here this summer. I thoroughly enjoyed your presence here in this house.

To Linda: Your wisdom in leading Bible studies will continue to influence me into next year and the years beyond. I thank you that you took countless hours to help us prepare for our Bible studies, as well as offered suggestions of what you have seen work in the past. Your desire to know the Lord and the truth that is found in Him is evident in your daily actions. Thank you for your devotion to the house.

To Becky: This summer is a stretch for you. As you said, you don't get to work with college students on a regular basis, but your investment in us is evident. Your willingness to get to know each of us was evident and was greatly appreciated. Your organizational skills are truly a gift that God has given you and that you have used for His glory.

To Scott: Your desire to learn along with the students this summer was a huge encouragement. Your willingness to concede that you don't know all truths helped us out immensely. I thank you for the wisdom and eagerness to gather knowledge that you brought to the house. I know that the future holds great things for you at Ursinus.

I am blessed to have gotten to spend a summer with everyone in the house. These blogs (notes) are just a small token of my appreciation for all that I have learned from each of you in the house. I pray that we would continue to encourage one another and spur one another on towards love and good deeds.

Left Unspoken (Part II)

2007-08-07T02:11:00.000-04:00

As I said, I would not forget about the others here at the project.

To LeeAnna: It is an encouragement to see your desire for knowledge from the word. Your discernment and desire for discernment is a blessing to this house. I pray that you continue to hold to that as you go back to your youth group. They will benefit greatly from having you as a teacher.

To Jake: Your willingness to step into positions of leadership at the project have been awesome. It has been great to watch the transformation happen in you from being timid about leading worship to doing it on a weekly basis. Also, your desire for us to pray together and taking the initiative on that is an amazing step to see you take.

To Emily: Your passion is contagious and brings new excitement to the Word daily. To see you begin to have hope in all things has been refreshing. God has some great plans for you at Waynesburg next year, as well as further into the future. Don't lose your fervor for the Lord.

To Jenn: What you have learned this summer is evident. You continue to apply the knowledge you gain and seek out answers for yourself. You don't just accept things at face value, but are determined to understand why some have the opinions that they do. This is a gift to be cherished, which I hope that you keep near and dear to your heart.

To Lindsay: Restoration is difficult to see from an outside perspective. The growth that I have seen in you though is uplifting. To see you more willing to get into deep, difficult discussions now is good. It shows that you are interested in what others think, which too often is overlooked in our society. For that reason, you have been a major blessing to this house.

Thank you to everyone in the house again for a truly unforgettable summer. I will always cherish this summer for as long as I shall live.

Left Unspoken

2007-08-05T02:27:00.000-04:00

The other night at our banquet for the Ocean City Beach Project, we did what we called a "say-so." Everyone had the opportunity to get up and speak about what they had learned from the summer, or some words of encouragement for one another, or just to say 'thanks' for some of the things that had been going on. It was a time in which tears flowed, joy abounded, and eyes were opened. There were some things that I didn't say and I feel may have been left unspoken.

To Sarah: It was your last night with us. I just want to tell you how awesome it was to see your discipline. I don't know of anyone who could have been training for field hockey, leading Bible studies, doing daily devotions, working, and hanging out with people as well as you did. It is a huge encouragement to see that and know that it is possible to balance so many things at one time.

To Ryan: Your dedication to this summer and this project was a blessing. You invested in so many people here and got to know almost everyone. I hope that you continue to seek out daily times in which you can seek the Lord. It was great getting to see how you grew in the area of dedication though.

To Katie: Perhaps the most enthusiastic and happy person I know. Your presence is so uplifting. Our talks showed me how you were willing to open yourself up to others and share your past. It is a true blessing and will help you to relate and reach out to those around you. I am excited to hear about how God will be using you on Penn State's campus next year.

To Jaclyn: What a difference this summer has made for your confidence. At the beginning of the summer, as you have noted yourself, you were timid about your knowledge and thought that you didn't know as much as those around you. Well, you do know so much and are able to share your knowledge in a manner that allows people to relate to you. Also, your willingness to pray in our D-group was a giant step of faith. I am glad to see how you have become more and more confident throughout the summer.

To Amy: I think that two words (names) can sum up the stresses of the summer for you: Abbi and Noah. To be able to deal with them stretched you to the limit. Your being here, away from home, was stretching you as well. Your adaptability with the group was also encouraging to see. I can't wait to see how God will stretch you even further as you walk with Him.

Don't think that I have forgotten about the others. It is just getting pretty late, so I will have to continue this tomorrow. I just wanted to let you guys know that I have seen so much change in everyone in the house that it has been a motivation for me back at campus next year. I pray that we would seek to stay in touch with one another, however frequently that may be, so that we can hear how God has used this summer in each of our lives.

Long Goodbyes

2007-08-04T02:17:00.000-04:00

Later this morning one of the girls who has been at the project will be leaving to go home and then off to field hockey training. It kind of sucks because I would venture to say that she and I have gotten to know each other the best out of anyone I know in the house.

That isn't the real reason why I am writing this note (sorry, Sarah). But thinking about it, I just said goodbye to Tim and Ryan who are moving on from W & J's campus. I know that they won't be far away living in Pittsburgh, but that is a lot different than having them right on campus.

I guess to delve further into why I am writing this is because I have a hard time saying goodbye without letting it affect me too much. I would love to keep things the same, as they are right now, with all of us living together in this house. But I know this is selfish of me. Look at all the great things that will be accomplished by those who are living in this house right now. I mean, Sarah has a great opportunity to reach out to her new field hockey team. Ryan will be leading a community house back at Kent next year. Lindsay will be able to reach out to her sorority sisters. The list goes on and on. Yet I have such a hard time saying goodbye and good luck!

Recently I have had some serious thoughts about being a campus minister. One of the most crucial elements of being a campus minsiter though is being able to say goodbye to your students and release them into the world, where they will be able to do great things. If I can't do this, then am I really cut out to be a campus minister? Can I do any job so that I wouldn't have to deal with this? I am pretty sure that there isn't a job out there that lets you do this, so I think that I need just to pray about it and let God decide.

O, how I long that I could stay in this community forever though (okay, maybe not forever, but for a longer period of time)! It has been the biggest blessing of my life thus far, and I think that it will be hard to pass this one up. I just beg that noone asks me to talk about my time here until about January or February when I will see the folks again. I think that it would be just too hard on me right now to have to talk about the friends I have met here shortly after leaving.

Winding Down

2007-08-03T01:39:00.000-04:00

It seems like I have only been at the beach for about a week now. I don't feel like I have gotten to know too many of the people here. Maybe that is just me complaining, but I wish that we would have been more intentional about building relationships.

I just got done talking with some people here though and have begun to realize that it isn't feasible to expect a relationship with everyone here. I mean, we might be lucky if we all get to hang out again together at Jubilee next year.

Things I will miss:

Sarah always putting me in some awkward situation: 'Hey, Jake, are you going to miss me? Isn't Anna beautiful?' just to name a few. What would the summer have been without these moments though. Sarah, I hope that you read this so that you know that I will truly miss you and that you added a lot to this community. Your attitude and thoughts changed me quite a bit.

One-on-ones with Jeff: I don't think that I could do any justice to the things that you taught me in our meeting times. I just want to thank you for the inspiration you have been to me over the last nine weeks.

Late night talks: To all of you who decided to stay up with me until 2 or 3 in the morning towards the end of the project, I thank you. It isn't easy to get up for work the next morning, but it is totally worth it. I wish that I would be able to hang out with you guys next year when I am back at school and on duty.

Bickering with Jenn while doing dishes: Oh, Beth, what would Tuesday night clean-ups have been without Jenn and I bothering each other? It might have been a bit nicer in the kitchen, but not nearly as much fun. Jenn, continue to seek out answers and you will do just fine.

Awesome speakers and learning: To Chris, Derek, Allie, Carlous, Andy, Byron, Ken, and Shelby, you are all amazing. It was a true blessing to hear you speak. None of you will probably read this, but it is worth mentioning. I just want you to know that you all have made me grow in my understanding of my faith and what it looks like lived out daily.

There are so many other things that I am going to miss, but right now it hurts my heart too much to go on. I will truly miss this summer. I don't have any regrets, but I don't want to leave (It is funny that I told Ryan and Lizz that I didn't want to come the day before I left and to see how much that has changed).

Ring Under My Pillow

2007-07-26T09:08:00.000-04:00

Recently, well a few weeks ago now, I was listening to a sermon by one of my favourites, Tim Keller (a few of my readers may have heard of him, and I highly recommend listening to him). He was talking about the Gospel of Jesus Christ according to Mark, the first chapter. Well, as he was exasperating on the text he made mention of this one children's fantasy book, written in the 1870s. I immediately vowed that I would get this book and read it.

I apologize that I have to do this, but it is imperative that you have some knowledge about the history of the book before delving into what I want to.

The book starts out with Irene, a little eight year old princess. She is sent off to live in the foothills of the mountain, in which the goblins dwell (the goblins had previously been "sun-creatures" who were forced into the mountains by the royal family many generations before Irene and her father). The goblins had swore revenge on the royal family, no matter how many generations that it would take them.

Well, on one rainy day, Irene travels up a long stairway, one which the end was not in sight. After getting lost and crying, she hears a humming noise coming from one of the doors around her. She then enters the room to find her great-great grandmother, also named Irene.

I feel it necessary to interject here to allow my readers to konw that the goblins only came out at night and on rainy days. Once the sun went down, or once the rain came, Irene had to be safely in the house.

After a few more meetings with her "great BIG grandmother," Irene was given a string with a ring attached to it. Her grandmother told her that whenever she was in trouble she should place her ring under her pillow and begin to follow the extremely thin string, for it was woven out of spider webs.

One night, the goblin's creatures had come up to Irene's door, setting Irene into a panic. She immediately placed the ring under her pillow and began to follow the string (by the way, I am finally getting at the heart of what I have intended to talk about, although I felt as if the introduction were necessary).

Rather than lead her right into her grandmother's loving arms, the string leads Irene outside, during the middle of the night. Not only does it lead outside, but it leads into the caves of the goblins. What Irene does not realize at this point is that one of her friends is stuck in the cave.

In what is one of the most beautiful pieces of writing, George MacDonald paints a picture of a dejected young girl face-to-face with a pile of rocks with a string that seems to go nowhere. Little did she know that on the other side of the rocks was her friend Curdie. She began to tear away at the rocks, but the string didn't turn back. It led further into the caves. Curdie had tried to pursuade Irene to turn back and follow the string out of the cave, but, having already tried this, she refused. After some time, the string led to the grandmother's room.

So, what does this have to do with anything one might ask? Think for a second....

(Sorry, Dr. Keller, I cannot articulate this as well as you, and I am writing something similar to your sermon).

The cost of discipleship. Give up you family,

career,

home,

former friends,

life,

these are just some of the things that Jesus call us to concede to him. And for what? The ability to 'follow him' (reference the calling of the first apostles).

But following Christ is not always what we expect or what we want. Our strings lead us places we don't want to go. The lead us into the caves.

John the Baptist's string led him into the hands of Herod, where he was beheaded. Paul's string led him into many different prisons and punishments. Luther's string led him to the difficult task of correcting the error of the Catholic church.

But the glory of Christ's death and ressurection is that his string led Him into the bowels of Hell so that our's lead right into his open and loving arms.

What will be your response to this gospel? How will you respond to your string? Will you follow it whereever it leads?

References: Tim Keller, The Cost of Discipleship, www.redeemer.com (store, sermon store, search keyword Mark)

George MacDonald, The Princess and the Goblin

Passion

2007-04-28T13:17:00.000-04:00

The other day, I was talking with Ryan about what my career might be. He asked me, 'What am I passionate about?'

This is a good question. I thought about it for a minute, then said, 'Well, I really like what I am doing in accounting. I guess, I am passionate about that.' But am I really passionate about accounting? To answer this, we need to define what it means to be passionate.

We too often think of the literal definition: 'compelled or ruled by intense emotion.' Which I guess works for this meaning; however, what are we compelled by? Or, better yet, compelled to?

So, yea, I might love accounting. I might love what I am doing. I might have intense emotion about doing accounting for the rest of my life. But is that what it means to be passionate?

After a few minutes of discussion, Ryan clarified what his meaning of passion was. Passion to him was to be willing to sacrifice anything to see that area redeemed. (I hope at this point that I am not misquoting Ryan. Please let me know if I did, Ryan, or if I completely missed what you were saying.)

So, what areas am I so willing to give everything to see changed? It has been pretty interesting over the last few days to think about. Is it

business,

accounting,

campuses,

or somewhere else?

One of the things I guess that I should examine is where am I willing to spend my life. Is it in business? Do I feel like that would be a good fit for me? Or do I feel so passionately about it to try to change it for the better? Where do I feel needs redeemed enough to sacrifice all else?

I will have do some 'growing up' in the next few months and decide what I might do with my life. I need to think about where I feel most passionately about. I need to examine where I might be able to make a change. It should be interesting.

A Mighty King

2007-04-01T14:28:00.000-04:00

The Hebrews expected a powerful king who would deliver them from the oppressive hands of the Romans. They expected to be set free from this horrible oppression in this life. That's not what they got though. And what did it lead to?

Disappointment.

Anger.

Rage.

Crucifixion.

The Hebrews were looking for Christ to set them free here, now. They did not see the real message behind his teachings -- that the freedom He brings comes after our "physical lives." (I wonder if they had just forgotten about Isaiah 52-53 at this point. The description there clearly shows that Christ had to die in order to bring freedom.) But them missing the point of Christ's message isn't that important here. What is more important is the facet of the expectations of Christ, the disappointment felt when those expectations aren't met, and the reaction to the disappointment.

We all have expectations of what God will do, should do, is doing. We all want something of Him. This isn't any secret. Just think for a little while -- what do you expect from God?

Is it healing in a certain area?

Is it a relationship with someone?

Is it that He provides for your every want?

What happens if He "lets you down?" What happens if what you expect from Him doesn't occur?

See, all of these expectations come from our understanding of who God really is. He is a forgiving God, while at the same time being a just God. He is a loving God, enough to send His own son here to reunite us with Him. He loves us enough to give us His spirit to know Him. He is a holy God. That last one hopefully doesn't trip us up. Yes, He is holy, but He is not too holy that we cannot come before Him. Christ has taken our place and has allowed us to come before Him with our issues and our problems.

So, what is your understanding of God? Is it a God who is so holy He cannot even be approached? Is it a compassionate God who loves us enough to unite us with Him through His son? Is it a God who is supposed to give us whatever we want, whenever we want?

How should we respond to disappointments? Should we be upset, turn our backs and find our own way? That is what we usually do, right? I mean, whenever something isn't going the way I planned, I usually try to do things my way. Boy, it is funny how that makes us fall flat on our face.

TRUST. That should be our reaction. Trust that God has a bigger plan for what is happening. Trust that God will bring you through. Trust that God knows what He is doing.

Untitled

2007-03-15T16:04:00.000-04:00

Today has been one of the weirdest days for me in recent memory. It started with a test, then a meeting, then watching a movie. Doesn't sound too thrilling, but it really was a difficult day.

The test was in Accounting Information Systems, which I have with one of the most difficult professors on our campus; however, this test was easy compared to what he usually gives. I was a bit disappointed because I think he put a little less effort into making this test difficult. I was frustrated when I saw 5 students walk out in front of me when I had only taken 25 minutes to finish the test. Don't immediately think that I am being arrogant, because that is not what I mean at all through all of this, I am just saying that his tests are not usually finished in 25 minutes. I had Mr. Kuhn last semester, and I specifically remember never leaving the test room before I had been taking a test for 45 minutes. This test was too easy, although I know I made mistakes, it didn't make me think as much.

Then, I travelled to the church with Ryan. I met with Pastor Karen for about an hour, which was extremely helpful and delightful. I had mentioned that I wanted to meet with her on Sunday at church, so we did. It was great! For the last week or so, I have been pondering if I should make a trip to Uganda in December and January, but I wanted to talk with her before making any decision. So, today I arrived in her office at about 11 in the morning and we just started talking. She gave me what she called 'her version of twenty questions.' It was a test to answer some of the questions -- 'What do you want to do while you are there? Have you given any thought to how you are going to get there? Why do you feel that is what you want to do? How are you going to raise money to go?' All good questions which I had thought some about, but sitting in front of your pastor, the answers sometimes leave you. Well, it ended up that she gave me some pretty good insight as to what I should do, how I should go about doing it, and to seek her for any questions I might have. I was pretty excited after the meeting.

Well, I came back to my room and at about 3, I started watching the movie, Invisible Children. Let me tell you, if you want to see how blessed we are, watch this movie. It really helped me to see why I feel so much for this region (Uganda, that is). I can sit here and tell you all about it, but it wouldn't help. I could tell you about all the facts of the region, but it wouldn't help. You have to see the movie. I will probably spit some facts at you in a later blog, but right now, I can't. I can't think of just spitting out the facts when I watched the story of a few of the Ugandan boys; it desensitizes their stories. So, I will refuse to spit facts right now. What I can say is this, I want to go to Uganda to help these kids.

I realize that I probably won't be able to make a huge difference in Uganda if I do go; I realize that my impact will be limited. But if I am able to help just one person, get through one day, then the whole trip would be worth it.

Wobbly Knees

2007-03-09T09:18:00.000-05:00

Over the last 38 hours, I have learned a lot; mostly about one subject though -- the UNSHAKABLE STRENGTH of God. It is astounding to me how much strength He has in our lives, and the best part, He gives us His strength to get through our daily routines.

I love the fact that no matter how weak you are, God is right there and is willing to lend you strength to get through the toughest situations. He wants to give you strenght; I mean, that is part of the reason for His son dying for us -- that we may know His strength and love for us.

Perhaps some examples are necessary here.

Take my friend for example. Unequipped for teaching (at least in her mind). Does not fit the 'teacher's mold.' An introvert in an occupation which requires you to be somewhat of an extrovert. Sounds like she might be in the wrong profession if we were to look at it from a worldly perspective.

But not so quick.

She feels that God has called her to this occupation. So what does He do? Gives her strength to do her job. And she relies on that. She is aware that He is at work here and continues to do His work in her life. He will strengthen us in the areas into which He has called us.

I hate to use an example from my life, but I suppose that is necessary. For the last 38 hours, I have had no calories enter my body. I want to feel His strength in my life, which trust me, I have in the last 2 hours.

I want to know what my brothers and sisters in Africa go through each day -- where more than one meal a day is a luxury. Where my brothers and sisters die every day from starvation. Where my brothers and sisters don't know the feeling of a full stomach every night before going to sleep.

Why are we so disconnected from them? Why, when the topic is discussed, do we immediately have a remorseful response, but fail to act upon it?

I guess my challenge is to not just hear about the plight of our brothers and sisters througout the world, but to take action. To step out of our comfortable dorm rooms, dining halls, Waffle Houses, nation and help those in need. Help our brothers and sisters who are much less fortunate than we are.

Back to my story for a little I guess. I got up today with some really wobbly knees. I guess the fast has started to take a little bit of an effect on me; however, it was in this moment of complete weakness and vulnerability to temptation (especially to go over to the Commons and grab a bagel) that I recognized my inability to do anything about it.

I cannot give myself strength. I cannot make myself stop hungering. I cannot, on my own, resist temptation.

Rather, all of these strengths that I have found come from God. And He readily provides them for all. His love stretches across race, gender, age, occupation, or whatever else you can think of. He LOVES US ALL EQUALLY AND WILL GIVE TO US ALL WHAT WE NEED!

Rejoice in Our Remorse

2007-03-04T17:38:00.000-05:00

There has been an issue that has been bothering me the last two months. It all started at Urbana 2006, which now seems like it was an eternity ago.

We were having the last session, on Sunday evening (December 31, 2006), and we were taking communion. Now, there are 22,000 people at Urbana, so as you can imagine, communion on that scale was a new experience. I had never really had more than maybe 200 people taking communion at the same time.

It was amazing though. You could have heard a pindrop in the Edward Jones Dome with 22,000 people in it. Now, I was looking for some Scriptual backing for our remorse while taking communion. I guess remorse is not a great word here, but I think that some of us see it as that. What I found was this (by the way, I found this today in church after taking communion):

A man ought to examine himself before he eats of the bread and drinks of the cup. For anyone who eats and drinks without recognizing the body of the Lord eats and drinks judgment on himself. (1 Cor. 11:28-29)

Here we have a reason to examine ourselves before taking communion. We must think about why it was necessary for Christ to die on the cross; how are sins HELD Him on the cross.

In this light, it is right to be remorseful, knowing that Christ had to die to save us from our sinful nature; our sins -- past, present, and future -- held Him to that cross. I am ashamed that I have put Christ on the cross, and that He has to stay there for me to be forgiven again and again.

However, if one looks at the cross and communion in a different light, we should rejoice. I have not been able to find Scriptual backing for this; however, it is my more immediate reaction to communion. Let me explain.

Christ WILLINGLY went to the cross; He knew what He was doing. He offered himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God (Eph. 5:2). He wanted us to join him in Heaven.

In light of Christ's willingess and his rejoicing at us joining him in Heaven, then I feel that we should rejoice when taking communion. This is the body and blood that saves us, that gives us eternal life, to spend that eternal life with the One who shed it for us.

So, I will continue to be split asunder when taking communion -- not knowing whether to rejoice or feel great remorse. I guess that I will have to rejoice in my remorse.

Undeserved Love

2007-02-26T14:00:00.000-05:00

Imagine someone turning their back on you after you had given them everything you had. Imagine someone going their own way after you have provided the best way possible. Now, we can't give someone everything we have, nor provide the best way possible, because we are just human.

Someone has given everything they have. Someone does provide the best way possible.

God.

And what do we, as ignorant humans, when He has done this?

Most of the time we turn our backs. Most of the time we go our own way, thinking that we know better and that we can provide our own way. Most of the time our reaction might as well be to slap God in the face and say, "I like my way better. Shut up!"

It's crazy how we are willing to turn our back on Him so easily.

But one thing continues to amaze me every minute of every day. HIS UNFAILING LOVE.

I mean, we can just turn our backs on God and His plans; we can nail Jesus to the cross, and yet, there He is. Open arms. Wanting you to run back to Him so that He can rejoice in your presence. He rejoices in our presence as well. He wants us to choose Him.

I still do not know if I fully grasp this concept of unfailing love, but how can we as humans? We hold grudges against our neighbors, even for something as small as someone wearing our shirt without asking. Our immediate reaction is to get upset. We do not have this concept of unfailing love in our minds and hearts.

So, I guess I will just remain amazed at how God can continue to love us after nailing His son to the cross; how He still loves us after we turn our backs on Him, and He still loves us after we choose our ways over His.

"You have something in your teeth."

2007-02-19T16:36:00.000-05:00

So this weekend, I went to one of the coolest conferences I have ever been to. Now close your eyes and picture this -- two thousand college students, all on fire for the Lord, meeting together at the Hilton in Pittsburgh, giving worship and praise to Our Glorious Creator. Pretty awesome, huh?

But to the beginning. The weekend started just great! I got a letter in my mailbox telling me that I wasn't going to be a CA next year. Good, just what I wanted to hear (I realize that it is really hard to pick up on sarcasm in writing, especially online; however, I am trying to make this as blatant as possible). Well, I vented, for about a day I might add, and was going along fine with the way I was right then.

Angry.

Desiring to be somewhere else.

I couldn't stand being around people who were just happy and all giddy.

Distracted.

Have you ever been talking to someone who has something stuck in their teeth? They keep talking to you, but all you can think and concentrate on is, "What did they eat? What is that stuck in their teeth?" All you really want to say to the person is, "You have something in your teeth. Can you get it out before you keep going on." All the while, you miss what the person was saying to you. Your focus was completely on the grain of pepper that you missed the fact that they told you that their mother was ill and was going to be placed in the hospital. Or the fact that they desperately needed your help in finding someone to take care of their dog while they went on a trip. Or that all along, they were calling you for a better purpose (I wonder who would be doing that?)

To my situation though:

Words of wisdom would soon fall on my ears and soften my heart. A wise man pointed out to me the dangers of my attitude and actions this weekend. This was Saturday at about 4 in the afternoon. We were eating dinner, and I had approached him with some questions, none of which pertained to what was going on that weekend and were pretty irrelevant to anything in the near future.

Have you ever had somebody point something out like this to you? It is one of the most trying situations that you can have. He cut to my heart and said (not literally, I should add), "You have been focusing on what is in the teeth, not on what is being said. You're not going to get as much out of this weekend as you should or could."

This being said, I was a little upset for the evening session. I didn't want to be told these things which cut to the core of myself. Music, blah! Saleem speaking, blah! Those around me singing, blah! Not a good attitude to have.

Prayer for openness and to free me of my burdens. That was all I needed. It felt as if the whole world came off of my shoulders. I began to listen, to hear what He was saying to me. I quit focusing on what was in His teeth. That might be a bad analogy, but it will do for now.

The speaker that night was truly blessed by God, and He spoke to me. I was only able to get past the distractions when I came to Him humbly, knowing that I had been in the wrong, knowing that He would take them for me. So, what distractions do you have?

Matthew 11:28-30
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

"When you breathe, I want to be the air for you"

2007-02-14T11:53:00.000-05:00

So for the last week and a half, I have been listening to this one song and just ridiuculing it for how outrageous the lyrics are. Or so I thought.

The song is by Bon Jovi, "I'll be there for you." My friends and I have been getting a good laugh about the lyrics, probably because of the way that I would recite them in their ears, or how during the Super Bowl it was how I addressed one of them. During the party, I actually made a vow to answer any question using the lyrics from that song. Crazy, right?

Well, yesterday, in one of my great (and few, I might add) moments making Lizz laugh, I decided to play this song. It was pretty funny, and Ryan was cracking up when I decided to play it. I thought that it was fitting "push-up music."

So, here I am, making fun of this song, and saying how ridiculous some of the lyrics are. Then, Lizz, being the wise woman she is, told me to look at the song in a new light (she just posted a blog on this same topic, so I am kind of living off her blog too). She told me to envision Christ singing the song to us.

Man, did that make me think.

The lyrics fit in so well with what Christ does for us. It puts into words the love that he has for us. It embodies what the apostles got to see first hand, two thousand years later.

So as Lizz said in her blog (or maybe she didn't and I am inferring this), interpret the music you listen to, even if it isn't "Christian." Even some of the cheesiest love songs, or the weirdest country songs can have more meaning behind them. Just look at the Bon Jovi song:

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
I'll be there for you
When you breathe, I want to be the air for you
I'll live and I'll die for you
I'll steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you

Commercials

2007-02-05T16:49:00.000-05:00

So the other day, I was watching the Super Bowl with some of my friends and some of my youth group students. It was a new and interesteing experience for me to watch what I consider one of the most important sporting events of the year with people who don't necessarily view it the same way (it's kind of like if I were to watch the Acadamy Awards with Steven Spielberg; he sees them in a much different light than I). It was a new and interesting experience for me.

Many people that I was watching the game with were concerned about the commercials. They were "watching" the game to see what new and attractive methods of advertising would be employed by companies this year.

So, I am watching these commercials, probing every aspect of them to see what was really going on. I am sure that you have had similar experiences -- watching a commercial and when it is over, asking yourself, "What in the world was that commercial advertising?"

I absolutely love the godaddy.com commercials for this. They have absolutely nothing to do with what the company does (in case you were wondering, they help people to set up websites for companies, personal use, etc.) I would have never know this from watching one of their commercials, which usually involve some form of a half-dressed woman with a group of men gathering around her in awe. Pretty awesome advertising for a company which makes websites, huh? If you design a website, you will have half-dressed women around you.

We know that this is a lie. But where do we have "commercials" in our lives? Where do we put on a show that has nothing to do with what we are actually doing? It comes down to, "Where is the HEART behind your actions.

Are you just going through the motions?

Do you actually mean what you do?

One of the biggest areas that I see this is with worship. I myself am guilty of this at times. Singing a song, I find myself getting caught up in, "How do I sound? Should I be kneeling? Should I raise my hands?" For some odd and ridiculous reason, I cannot just let myself worship freely. I am trying to look right, and, by doing so, I forget where my heart lies. I am not giving God all of my heart. I mean, it is His, right?

Clean Vessels

2007-01-18T20:06:00.000-05:00

After figuring out your identity, you must continue on a path to figure out your calling. By finding your identity, you will also find areas of your life which are not "clean", rather they are "dirty."

So where are you "dirty?" Where do you need to come clean?

I have written on this previously, but this was an issue that was tackled for me once again at Urbana (I suggest that you go).

For some of us it might be sexual immorality. We might not even realize when we are committing a sexual sin. I know that I myself am guilty of sexual immorality. For it is written, "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Mat 5:28).

For others it might be hatred, dislike. This is easy enough to recognize. Have you ever had that guy (or girl) pull out right in front of you? Think of your immediate reaction. If you are like me, it usually involves some yelling, maybe a quick punch to the steering wheel, and, if you are lucky, a toss of the cell phone (no wonder it doesn't work). Now, this sounds harmless enough. I just got upset with someone whom I don't even know. Oh well, I wasn't seriously mad at him, right? Well, as it is written, "But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment" (Mat 5:22).

So whereever it is you need to repent and "DETOXIFY", do it. It is an awesome feeling to have that burden lifted off your shoulders. God will not use a "dirty" vessel, so become clean. Admit your sin, give it over to God.

Joshua 3:5
"Joshua told the people, 'Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things among you.'"

SHAPE

2007-01-10T20:04:00.000-05:00

We have all heard of the dreaded "MIDLIFE CRISIS" -- the feeling of change in our identity. The same is true of when we are twenty: college kids asking themselves, "Who am I? Where do I belong in the world? What should I do with my life?"

Do not get me wrong, these questions are important; however, the way that our society looks at the questions, as well as how they find answers, is a little "out of whack."

We look to our family for answers, thinking that they might know where it is best for us to go. One problem lies within this answer -- our family is just as fallible as we are. They know just as well as we do what will happen in the near future. They cannot tell us any better what to do or where to go than the answers that we ourselves can develop.

We look to security, whether it be financially or any other form, for answers. But can we be certain of what the future holds? We cannot know if the person we are dating now will be our wife or, if they are, the liklihood of divorce. We ourselves cannot predict security.

But finding your identity is crucial; in fact, it is the first step in finding where God is calling you. Rick Warren, the author of The Purpose Driven Life, recently spoke about this topic at Urbana. He concluded that there is a simple mnemonic device to help us find our identity -- SHAPE.

Spiritual gifts: gifts given to you upon the Holy Spirit's entrance into your life.

Now, there have been tests to figure out spiritual gifts; however, one cannot truly identify their spiritual gifts without experimenting. For instance, someone may have never taught before, but that does not mean that they do not have that spiritual gift. They could have it, yet they have not tried it. Experiment. Find your spiritual gifts.

Heart. What are your interests? What do you enjoy doing? God has placed these passions in you. Recognize them; use them for His glory.

Abilities. Not to be confused with spiritual gifts, abilities are given at birth, not rebirth in the Spirit. There are numerous abilities, far too many to count -- athleticism, musical ability, etc. All can be used to glorify God, just the reason He placed them inside you.

Personality. Are you an extrovert or an introvert? God has uses for both. This is an important part of our identity. It determines how we react to certain situations.

Lastly, but perhaps most importantly:

Experiences. We all have our different experiences. Just because we were somewhere together does not mean we have the same experiences. People take in situations differently; we have different reactions. Experiences shape each person differently.

Now, we have our fair share of "bad" experiences. What is the best thing about these experiences? God uses our worst experiences to help us the most. Think of one of your worst memories. God had a plan for it. I have been able to recognize this more over the last year than I have ever been able to before.

Look inside yourself -- who are you? Really, truly, and honestly? Do not try to see yourself as others do, but look at yourself as God made you -- the identity that He gave you in your SHAPE.

Ringtones

2007-01-07T22:39:00.000-05:00

Did you ever notice how concerned some people (including myself) are about the ringtones on their cell phones? It is amazing how we look forward to the calling on our cell phones. We want them to ring; it makes us feel significant.

Think about how many ringtones you have on your phone.

Do you anxiously await a phone call? Do you long for the "significance" felt in a phone call? Are you so obsessed with those phone calls that you miss your true calling?

The most important person trying to reach us is our Creator, our King. He has given us all that we have; now, He is commanding you to give all you have -- for Him. But our giving is not seen as a duty or an act that we must do, but we willingly give our lives to him, just as Christ willingly went to the cross for us.

When He is trying to reach us, He is calling us. The apostle Paul wrote to the chuch in Ephesus, "I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received" (Eph. 4:1).

This calling is significant. God has a significance for your life; He has a plan for your life. He wants to use you for His glorious plans. This calling will bring you significance.

There lies a problem with sometimes understanding this though:

To live a life worthy of the calling, you must be able to find what God's calling for your life is. He is trying to reach us; will you recognize His ringtone? Will you answer His call?

Over the next few days, I will go over what I have learned about finding your calling from God. Urbana served a great purpose in helping me to find this knowledge, and I long to learn more about finding my calling, then following it adamantly with all of my heart.

Stuck In the Mud

2006-12-16T12:32:00.001-05:00

Have you ever felt like you were stuck in mud, trapped never being able to escape? For many of us this is a metaphor; however, for Nick Seagrave it was a reality. Sinking ever so deeply into mud, no way to escape. Just then he saw a "gentle rider" on horseback. Who was the gentle rider?

We all have these situations -- ones that we feel we can't escape. The fact of the matter is we can't, at least, not on our own. However, when the gentle rider comes along, we can get out of these situations.

We can try to flail our arms about, strecthing beyond our limits to reach the branch that seems to elude our grasp no matter how hard we try. We can squirm and twist, thinking that somehow that might help, but the reality is that we cannot escape the mud on our own.

As the mud creeped up around Nick's neck, he cried out to the Gentle Rider. "What can I do?!?" To which the Gentle Rider replied, "You're not using all you have to get out."

One last feeble and meaningless attempt to elude the clutch of the mud. No success.

"What else do I have?" cried Nick. "You have not asked me to help you," said the Gentle Rider.

Why in our weakest moments do we fail to call out to the Gentle Rider? Why are we so stubborn to recognize our weaknesses?

Pray for enlightenment to your weaknesses. Ask Him to point them out. When you realize them, cry out!

Cry out to Him for help! He is here to rescue us from the mud. He is here to lend a hand. Don't fail to ask Him for the aid we so desperately need and long for.

Seeing

2006-12-08T09:57:00.000-05:00

When recently diving into the depths of myself for my weaknesses, I came across one that made me question my reaction to my brothers around me.

I have recognized that I continue to see people from a worldly perspective.

Have you ever seen that guy on the street with about a hundred tatoos, piercings everywhere the eye can see (and probably some where it cannot), clothed in black, fashioning skulls throughout his wardrobe? I am sure that you have.

Now, what is your immediate reaction to this man? Well, for me, it is usually a cowering -- maybe even a quick dash across the street to avoid contact. It sounds horrible, I know, you do not have to tell me. However, this is not the reaction we are called to have. Being a new creation in Christ requires that we no longer see anyone from a "worldly point of view" (2 Cor. 5:16).

So, what should I see when I look at this person? Certainly not a "goth", but more as one of God's dearly loved children, just as I am. He and I have the same great Father; why do I dismiss him as a brother? Not only do I do that, but I do it without even knowing him. I can certainly recognize myself doing this with those whom I know as well.

This is just a beginning to me probing into my life and examining my weaknesses. I pray that you can examine your lives, no, not just the good, but also the bad and the ugly. See where you are weak. Cry out to God! Pray for guidance. I am asking God to direct me in my relationships with those around me that I might be able to neglect any worldly point of views, but see others as God sees them.

"For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Cor. 12:10)

Slowing Down

2006-11-12T14:01:00.000-05:00

So, as it turns out, the other day I had started to write a post and didn't finish it. I am actually now thankful that I did not get to finish it. I have been able to tie it in with some things that have happened to me since Sunday, so this should be able to cover what I was writing then.

Well, let me start on Sunday. I was sitting in church, and as usual, I felt myself drifting away a little from the message. (I absolutely hate when I do this. I tend to find myself doing it later in the sermon.) However, I heard one of the things that my pastor was speaking about, which she had tied back to the gospel reading. It hit me pretty hard and has left a pretty good impression on me the last couple of days. She said, "God doesn't save us in halves and bits, so why do we give Him bits and pieces of our lives?"

It doesn't make much sense, does it? Why are we so unable as humans to give Him our entire lives? Well, that answer is pretty easy -- sin. However, what isn't so easy to accept is the fact that we do it. The fact that we don't give our Creator, who could take everything away if He so desired, our complete devotion and lives. So, how do we change this? How can we rededicate our lives to our precious and loving Father? It won't be easy, or maybe even possible, but I am willing to try.

One thing that I have recently read in a book that I highly recommend, Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell, has helped me in this area. Or maybe provoked more questions about the issue. I am not sure, but I guess sometimes that is a good thing. So, Rob writes, "We have to stop. We have to slow down." What he is speaking about here is observing the Sabbath and finding the peace in God that Jesus offers, and how we need to alter so that we might be able to find this peace.

Slow down?

In today's society. Everything keeps on going, and going, and going.

It is a challenge to slow down. How many classes did you go to today? How many meetings are you attending today? This week? Just think about it. Our society pushes us to the extreme, making us seem like we aren't doing enough. We've all heard it, "If you want to do something about it, then join so-and-so group." Or, "I would love to devote more time to God, but school is just so pressing." It is amazing, isn't it? How far out of line our priorities are.

Think for a second about Jesus' disciples (well, that is all of us, but here I am refering to those he called in his human life). Jesus is just strolling along the Sea of Galilee and sees some fishermen. They are working, making money, doing what they are supposed to in their culture. But this was a special day for them; Jesus calls them to follow them. And what do they do? They don't say, "Wait, we have to finish our work for the day. We'll catch up with you later." They immediately drop their nets and FOLLOW HIM.

No delay, no hesitation. They took the time to slow down from their lives and follow Jesus.

I am guilty of not slowing down my life; however, it is now apparent to me. I know where I must slow down, let God to work, do His thing. He is faithful, He will be there, He will help you through it. We just have to slow down, not rush through life -- notice God and what he does.

Disclaimer: This is a little disorganized, meant to be so. I must admit that Rob Bell is rubbing off on me a little with his style of writing. It is unique, and thought-provoking.

Plans and Goals

2006-11-10T11:59:00.000-05:00

One of the issues that I have wretled with this semester is what my plans will be in the next year. I have already made some plans, but I am still pondering others. If you have any suggestions please leave them:

Wrestling -- no longer for me. I feel God calling me in other areas than wrestling. This semester has been amazing without it; therefore, I haven't missed it at all.
Summer plans -- right now, I feel a strong, strong calling to the Ocean City Beach Project, held by the Coalition for Christion Outreach. This was one of the hardest decisions. I was also thinking about going to Student Leadership Training or Xining, China for a "cultural and linguistic exchange." I am still keeping my options open; however, the strong calling to OCBP has been overwhelming.
Life -- still unclear. I am hoping that OCBP and Jubilee will help me to see where God is calling me with my accounting major. Also, Urbana might be able to help.

I also have some goals for the rest of the semester:

Memory verses -- up to 50 or more by the end of the semster. I would have to memorize about 5 to 10 for the next five weeks. If you have any good verses or passages for me to memorize, let me know.
Small group -- have at least 3 regular attendees. Hopefully, when Ryan and I change the time and meeting location, more people will be able to attend. Also, this change will provide a reason to talk to those who we already have and get to see how their semester has been already.
Academics -- maintain at least a 3.8 this semester. I will have to work to keep this, but I am hoping to raise my grade in Intermediate and Principles.
With Ryan -- learn to play at least 2 songs on the piano and maybe the guitar. This area will be more difficult than the others. I will have to keep on myself to practice and, with Thanksgiving break, this could prove to be difficult.

By writing down my goals and plans, I am hoping that it will allow me to really see where I am going and what I need to do to get there. With God's help, anything that will glorify Him is possible.

"For when I am weak, then I am strong."

2006-10-31T11:26:00.000-05:00

Where are you weak? Is it in sexual immorality? Perhaps it's the lust for money? Or maybe even confrontation? Worse yet, maybe you cannot control what comes out of you mouth -- profanity, discouragement, whatever?

There is comfort in all of our weaknesses though. It took me until now, well actually Sunday night/Monday morning, to realize this. For so long, I thought that I was the only one in our community here at W&J to struggle with the things I do; however, God has opened my eyes, ears, and heart to those who share my struggles.

Recently, I was discussing some of these struggles with some of my friends and one of them quoted a passage which has hung in my heart the last couple of days. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in my weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Cor. 12:9-10)

Delight in my weaknesses? Who does that? Who boasts when they are weak? Do we freely express the areas in our lives where we cannot do it ourselves, but completely rest on the faith that God will provide for us? The last two days have challenged me to do this, which has been one of the most freeing times in my life. I have felt a burden lifted from my shoulders, allowing me to express my joy freely again.

It is so hard for us to rely on God for everything, but Christ has commanded us to do just that. We cannot do anything on our own; we cannot continue to carry our burdens, for we will be crushed in our feeble attempts to do so. Christ tells us that he will take our burdens: Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. (Mat. 11:28-30)

God, take my burdens, for You alone can ease my load; You alone are able to bear my burdens. God, thank You for Your willingness to take my weary heart and give it rest. Thank You for taking my yoke from me.

Community

2006-10-26T13:41:00.000-04:00

Would you give everything you had to help a friend in need? Would you sacrifice your own well-being to help a less fortunate friend? Would you be willing to allow a friend to probe into every facet of your life?

If you can honestly answer yes to all of these questions, you are to be lauded. It is rare to find someone so willing to be sacrificial. However, Luke calls us to do all of these things, and more, in Acts (2 and 4). Imagine a community in which everyone lived this life.

Pretty awesome, huh? So what is it that makes this "grace of giving" (2 Cor. 8) so difficult?

Until this summer, May to be exact, I was focused on one thing with my career plans -- how to make the most money and get ahead in life. I didn't give one hoot about giving to those less fortunate than myself; it was all about me, myself, and I. However, in May, our Father smacked me across my face and opened my eyes to His plan, His direction, His mercy. He has never thought of Himself before us, never thought of taking and not giving.

Our challenge here on Earth is not to see who can get the furthest ahead in life, not to see who can make the most money, not to see who has the fanciest car, rather it is to complete give ourselves to God, our Father.

Tim, Ryan, Emily, Deanna, Hobgobbler, Heff, anyone else who wants to join:

Imagine a community like that on campus here. That is our vision, our goal, our prize, our gift from our Father. We must accept this awesome responsibility to build it here; we must give ourselves to the Lord for it to happen. I love all of you guys, and you all continue to be an inspiration for me. Thank you for all you have done for me, and all that you continue to do without even realizing it.

For whom or what are you living?

2006-10-25T17:06:00.000-04:00

Just a few days ago, one of my closest friends presented a question to me. I never thought a question would affect me the way this one did, tearing my heart the last two weeks. I encourage each of you to take a closer look at this question as well:

For whom or what are you living?

For most of us, this question is difficult to answer. I am hoping that in the coming years of my life, I can give a definite and conclusive answer to this question -- God, and God alone.

body (n.): the physical structure of a human being or animal, not including the head, limbs, and tail; trunk; torso.

This definition is provided by dictionary.com. Is that all our body is? just our physical structure? useful for only this life, none other? What hope do we have then? Is our life constrained to the 80 years (if you're lucky) here on Earth? This definition would make you think so.

body (n.): earthen vessels, such as "jars of clay" (2 Cor. 4:7), used to glorify God and His word.

This definition is a combination of several of Paul's writings, as well as other Scriptures. To me, this defintion is more appropriate, leaving hope for an age to come -- the age of the coming of Christ. Our bodies are not our's, rather, they belong to God to do with as He pleases and sees fit for His Kingdom here on Earth.

Does everything you do glorify God, His honor? Do you follow selfish ambitions rather than following God's plan for your life? "For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will -- to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves." (Eph. 1:4-6).

Jeremy Camp "Take My Life"

Take my life, take my mind
Take my soul, take my will
I am your's now, and I give it all to You.